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Home » Chris Kremer, GeoNotes, Guest Posts

The World According to Canada and Texas

Submitted by on July 13, 2012 – 5:22 am 5 Comments |  
The portrayal of other countries in the humorous map “How Typical (Central) Canadians See the Rest of the World” contrasts sharply with the global vision found in its counterpart about Texans. Though it lacks geographical precision, the map about Central Canadians’ attitudes, found on the Canadian creator’s blog, effusively praises different countries for their natural beauty, the friendliness of their people, and their historical significance. Meanwhile, the map from the perspective of Texans, originally from a British website but also found elsewhere, has vastly greater geographical distortions and angrily and ignorantly belittles most of the places that it includes.

The first map attempts to show the common worldview of the residents of Ontario and Quebec in Central Canada. These two provinces account for much of the Canadian population and tend to be more politically left-leaning than other parts of the country. The map’s creator makes a clear effort to distinguish the views of Central Canadians from those of Americans, labeling Cuba with “where Americans hate, but we love,” and labeling Europe with “It’s so nice we’ve got peace-keepers here – I bet the average American doesn’t even know half of you guys!” However, like farcical maps from the American perspective, this map crudely lumps together certain countries that have little in common. For example, Australia, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, and insular Southeast Asia are grouped together as a single region, as are India, Southwest Asia, and the Caucasus.

The map from the perspective of Texas presents a much more insular and cranky view of the world. Texas occupies the center of a large, flat landmass apparently floating in outer space. The creator has labeled Mexico with an insulting slur and derisively named a mass that resembles Oklahoma as “Tarnation.” “The North” erroneously includes London as part of the “Feds,” and England has been misplaced below the Gulf of Mexico, labeled in the map as “The Sea.” These features, along with the note over the water, “Used to be called the meditrainian in olden times,” suggests that Texans hold geographical assumptions that are so ignorant and backward that they resemble those of the ancient Greek historian Herodotus, who had only a rough understanding of the world beyond the Mediterranean.

Canadians and Texans are commonly thought of as standing on opposite ends of the spectrum of global visions in North America.


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  • as a Canadian having lived 20 years in Alberta (W prairies) and 5 years in Texas where our daughter was born, I can appreciate your humour and second their quixotic world views. Canada and Texas may indeed be polar opposites, they offer idiosyncracies too – Texas has in its state constitution that it may leave the Union if it votes to, and Quebec threatens to do so every generation or so. And one must remember that the fate of W Canada hung in the balance until the trans-Canada railway was built, before which there were tenable annexation claims for what is now W Canada by the NW states of the Union… 

    • ckremer

      You make several great points about Quebec and Western Canada. The link’s maps look very promising, and I am looking forward to exploring the website.

  • The “Central” Canadian map presents the rare example of one of these maps that does not mock the maker’s own people, but instead is aimed at mocking those inferior types who live to the south of Ontario.  The Texan map, which appears not to be made by a Texan, does seem similar, in that its principal purpose is to illustrate what sad fools we Americans are.  I assume that I am supposed to have some epiphany in which I realize that all I have thought up to this point is wrong and if I only learn to view the world like an Ontarian, a millennium of peace and equality will dawn upon us.

  • Mainlander

    “Canadians and Texans are commonly thought of as standing on opposite ends of the spectrum of global visions in North America.” Most western Canadians would disagree with that statement.

    • ckremer

      You make an excellent point. Just as Central Canada differs politically from Western Canada, so does the Democratic stronghold Austin from many other parts of heavily Republican Texas. The average person from Austin would probably disagree with the kind of global vision presented in the map above.